​This week, I found myself reflecting on something that comes up a lot in my sessions with clients—hustle culture and the impact it has on people. Recently, a couple of clients shared their experiences with hustle-style coaching, and it reminded me of a common pattern I’ve seen over time. This isn’t just about life coaching; it also happens in fitness, career development, and personal growth. Today, I want to talk about the differences between the hustle mentality and more sustainable, positive approaches because I see the effects so often in my work.

What Happens with Hustle Culture
Hustle culture is all about pushing through. It’s that “all or nothing” mentality that says you have to keep grinding, keep pushing yourself, and maintain extreme discipline to succeed. And for many people, it works—for a while. They see quick results, whether it’s weight loss, career advancement, or achieving personal goals. That initial success can feel empowering, like all the hard work is paying off.

But here’s where the problem begins. The hustle mentality often doesn’t allow room for rest, reflection, or flexibility. It’s built on the idea that discipline alone is the key to success, and if you stop, even for a moment, you’re failing. For many people, this leads to burnout. They find themselves exhausted, unable to keep up with the demands they’ve set for themselves or that a coach has imposed on them.

What’s worse is that when this happens, people often blame themselves. Instead of recognizing that the approach they’re using is unsustainable, they think they’ve failed because they weren’t disciplined enough or strong enough to stick with it. The inner critic becomes louder, and feelings of inadequacy take over. People start thinking, “I’m just not good enough,” or “I need to work harder,” when really, it’s the method itself that’s flawed.

The Impact of Quick-Fix Coaching
In fitness coaching, for example, I’ve seen clients follow programs that promise quick results—rapid weight loss, major body transformations. At first, they feel excited by the immediate progress. But these programs often demand extreme discipline, with rigid rules and no room for personal adjustment. Eventually, the results slow down or plateau, and people feel like they’ve lost momentum. That’s when burnout sets in, and they start to feel like they’ve failed, blaming themselves for not keeping up.

Similarly, in career or personal development coaching, hustle culture can push people to overwork themselves. They might see quick wins—like landing a promotion or hitting a big career milestone—but they’re constantly pushing at full speed. Without time for reflection or self-care, they lose balance. When progress stalls or stress takes over, they feel defeated, as though they should have been able to keep going without breaking down.

Why Positive, Sustainable Approaches Work Better
There’s a big difference between this “hustle” mentality and a more sustainable, positive psychology approach. In my work, I focus on helping clients develop skills and habits that they can maintain over the long term. It’s not about quick wins or extreme discipline. Instead, it’s about understanding their strengths, working with their natural tendencies, and focusing on self-care and balance.

Here’s why this matters:

• Self-Compassion vs. Self-Criticism: Hustle culture often fuels the inner critic, making people feel like they’re not good enough when they can’t keep up. In contrast, a positive approach helps people develop self-compassion, recognizing that growth doesn’t have to be a grind, and it’s okay to move at a slower, more manageable pace.
• Sustainability vs. Burnout: While hustle culture leads to quick wins followed by burnout, sustainable approaches focus on gradual progress. When people work with their strengths and build healthy habits, they’re more likely to keep going without burning out.
• Lasting Confidence vs. Temporary Success: Clients who follow strength-based, person-centered approaches often discover strengths they didn’t realize they had. This builds lasting confidence and self-esteem, rather than the temporary high that comes with quick wins. They feel empowered to keep going because they’re working with themselves, not against themselves.

Why People Blame Themselves
One of the hardest things for people to realize is that when burnout happens, it’s not their fault. The hustle mentality makes them believe that if they didn’t succeed, it’s because they didn’t try hard enough. But in reality, it’s because the system they were following wasn’t built to last. These quick-fix programs set people up for a cycle of early success followed by burnout and self-blame.

If you’ve ever felt this way—like you’re pushing yourself too hard and it’s still not enough—please know that it’s not about you lacking discipline or willpower. It’s about finding an approach that works for you in a sustainable way.

How to Shift to a Sustainable Approach
If you’re ready to move away from the hustle mentality and toward something that actually works long-term, here are a few things to consider:

1. Focus on Your Strengths: What are you naturally good at? Build your approach around those strengths rather than trying to force yourself to fit into a rigid program that doesn’t align with who you are.
2. Allow for Flexibility: It’s okay to adjust your goals or take a break when you need it. Growth isn’t linear, and sometimes slowing down is exactly what you need to keep going in the long run.
3. Check In with Yourself: Regularly ask yourself how you’re feeling—both physically and mentally. If you’re starting to feel burned out, it’s a sign to re-evaluate and maybe ease up a bit.
4. Celebrate Small Wins: Progress is progress, no matter how small. Celebrate the steps you’re taking rather than focusing only on the big milestones. This helps you stay motivated without the pressure to achieve everything at once.
5. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. If you’re feeling drained or unmotivated, don’t beat yourself up. Recognize that it’s normal to feel this way, and take time to care for yourself. Self-compassion is a key part of sustainable success.

The Positive Side of Sustainable Growth
I’ve seen clients achieve lasting change by focusing on these more balanced, self-compassionate approaches. Instead of chasing quick wins, they’re building habits that last and learning to appreciate the journey. Sustainable growth isn’t about perfection or pushing yourself to the limit—it’s about creating a path that works for you and allows you to feel good along the way.

If any of this resonates with you or you’ve found yourself stuck in a hustle cycle, I encourage you to take a step back and think about what’s really working for you. Lasting change doesn’t have to be painful. It can be rooted in self-care, awareness, and steady progress. And in the end, that’s where real growth happens.

I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences with hustle culture and whether this resonates with you. Feel free to reach out anytime.

​Whether you struggle with low self-esteem or want to improve your relationships and/or leadership style, knowing your character strengths and becoming familiar with strength-based tools will be the greatest tools you can add to your life tool box. 
Here are some ways to find your strengths and live life with purpose!

​What is Strengths-Based Psychology?
Strengths-based psychology is an approach to psychology that sees people as more than just a set of problems to be fixed. Rather, it focuses on what can be done to help people become their best selves, both in terms of relating to others and being productive.
A great assessment you can take to learn more about your character strenghts is the VIA Character Strengths Survey. There, you will get to know what your top 5 Character Strengths are. 

​Next, explore how these strengths might manifest themselves in your life. What would happen if you put more effort into using your natural talents? Would it have any effect on the people around you? 
Use daily gratitude practice to also reflect on your day in terms of what character strengths you have used. Maybe you had to negiotiate something or compromise. In this sitiuation you might have shown empathy, social intelligence and communication skills. Or maybe you cooked dinner for friends or family, in which case you could have used your kindness, generosity and creativity. See, it's that easy.

How strengths-based approaches can combat negativity bias
I have a theory. What we focus on the most influences our neural pathways. The more we work in a certain way, the harder it is to deviate away from that. Therapists and coaches with an attitude as the one above are not only making it harder to let go of the negative, but can unintentionally prevent their clients from moving into a place of flourishing. It is a self-feeding negativity loop.
Let's look at what happens when you add an awareness of character strengths into your everyday life: 
You learn to identify your wins easier. Your brain has plasticity, you are training your brain to identify not only your own, but other people's strengths. By doing that you are enhancing the strength of gratitude and appreciation. As a result your relationships become more positive, deeper and more meaningful. You experience what we call “Positivity Resonance”, a positive bonding experience. As a result your self-esteem grows. It's an endless upward spiral into florishing. And yet, so many practitioners refuse to incorporate this into their work. 
You might be saying:"But I don't want to run around with rose-tinted glasses!" Don't worry, your brain has an inbuilt negativity bias to protect your from harm. All that positive approaches do is to shift your perception and vision into “reality”. You see the whole spectrum, not just the negative. It's like getting a new pair of glasses but for your life.

​Why people get stuck in therapy
Let me share an experience I had a few weeks ago during a training weekend for a course I am currently taking: 
One of the tasks we have been given is to do a 20-minute presentation on a topic we feel passionate about. We are asked to suggest topics and then the whole group would vote on what presentations to take further. A majority of the topics were on, yes, you guessed it, problems and difficulties. I suggested positive psychology. There was zero reaction and zero interest from fellow psychotherapists. To me, this is a disappointment, but no surprise. Therapists can also get stuck in a negativity bias loop.
In humanistic therapies Positive Psychology can often be perceived as a fad and “not deep enough”. The vast amounts of scientific evidence are being discounted. 
The majority of my clients are people who have been stuck in therapy but want to give it one more final try. They often report that their therapist kept looking backwards instead of towards a better future. They have gained more awareness in therapy but still don't know how to move forward. When they mentioned that they don't want to look into the past anymore, the therapist would see that as a defence and make that the focus of the session. It's time to work differently. Fixing a problem is not automatically creating something good.

Strengths-based leadership today
I don't usually bring politics into my emails, but here we have a perfect example of great leadership. One of the most inspiring leaders of today is Volodymyr Zelenskyy. His resolve, defiance and resilience is not just inspiring and moving the Ukrainian people, but it is also touching the entire world. How does he do that? 
Yes, we feel empathy seeing the pictures of destruction. People fleeing and seeking refuge. But there is another aspect that touches us: People are being seen and heard. Zelenskyy keeps reminding not only his people but other world leaders and their citizens of their humanity, their character and their strengths. He talks of loyalty, humanity, faith, trust, bravery, perseverance, love, kindness, fairness, leadership, gratitude, hope and even brings in humor in the darkest of times. He sees and appreciates the support he gets and  asks for what he and his people need whilst at the same time not being afraid to also critize without hate. This is why we identify. And this is why we are so moved to show support, civilians take up arms and build defenses, people take refugees into their homes. 
If a country's leader can do all that, imagine what you can do.

​A litte exercise for you to do with a friend
Get together with a friend or your partner and each share for one minute a story of when you were at your best. Try to listen to what strengths the other has exhibited and note them down. After each of you has shared their story, read to eachother the strengths you have identified and evidence them by pointing to the story. Reflect on how this made you feel. Did you feel seen? Did you feel appreciated? Did it feel good to focus on the positives of your friend or partner?